It hit me this morning:
I’m a house of cards.
For years I have refrained from saying that I should just stand strong and not give in or something else to that effect. I thought I had learned that G-d is the only one that keeps us from falling. I thought I had learned that only Holy Spirit could give us the strength to withstand sin and trial and temptation.
While that’s true, I don’t want to get into the deep theological details. But, I will say that although He is the One truly keeping us from falling into sin- even though He is the One giving us strength, we are told that SELF-control is one of the fruits of the Spirit. We can’t do it on our own, but we cannot sit idly by and not try to withstand the Enemy’s blows.
This morning the Lord reminded me of the verse in James about a man being tossed about by the sea and taken away with the wind. It says, “But ask in faith, never doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind; for the doubter, being double-minded and unstable in every way, must not expect to receive anything from the Lord.” (James 1:6-8) I don’t want to be that man. I have realized that every time I sin, every time I fall for it, I’m not even trying not to. Sometimes I’m like a rock and nothing can penetrate my fortress. Other times, I am tossed by the winds of life and I lie down for anything that seems too much for me.
I don’t want to be a house of cards collapsing at anything and everything.
I don’t want to take months to respond to something Christ tells me instantly.
I want to be strong. Not because culture tells me men are strong or because I think that that’s what I should be. I want to be strong because my Jesus has called me to a higher standard and I want Him to know that I love Him with a love that is deeper and stronger than all my evil tendencies. I want my love for Him to penetrate my bones and heat my veins more than the cancer of my sin. He honors strength. He honors us standing on the firm foundation of who He is. It is only here that we will not be shaken. We can stand on the Rock.
Today, I am going to stand strong with everything I have. I’m going to cry out from the buoy of my ocean for my Captain to come rescue me. I’m going to stand in honor, valor, and goodness.
I want to be strong.
I want to be honorable.
I want to be reliable.
I want to be trustworthy.
I want to be vigilant.
And when I fail and inevitably get blown off that buoy, my Captain is right there ready to help me get back up.
When my house is blown over- He will replace the cards with bricks and cement with blood and He will make me stand tall and firm. I may be a house of cards right now, but I’m setting my sights on the One who can make me real.
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