Aye y’all, your friendly neighborhood hypeman AD here with another blog post, this time about a little honest hour of my faith but before we get started though…
I want to thank Let’s Be Frank for the continuous pursuit of truth and finding the words to say when they can’t be expressed. Keep doing work y’all.
Wanting is one of the core functions of humanity. You want something, you go out and get it. You desire a career, you get the right degrees or certifications, go out into the interviewing world and try to land a job. When it comes to relationships, you seek out what you want best in a partner. Go out on dates, have little flirting conversations through text, and sure enough you find yourself wanting to be with this person.
This list goes on…
The title of this post is A.S.K and where I got that was an old friend of mine who has a tattoo of the acronym on his tricep. Ask. Seek. Knock. Matthew 7:7 states “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” That scripture and its formula has always eluded me. I can never understand it to the fullest and lately its been troubling considering that I’m graduating in the spring. It’s funny, I always stated that I would force myself to know what I can do after graduation but as the years go on, my passions changed, certain desires were put on the back burner and I just didn’t get excited for the same stuff. I’m currently studying Practical Ministries with a minor in youth and with that I dreamed of being a youth pastor.
THAT WAS THE DREAM…
Entering my senior year every time I even think about being a pastor I get so turned off to the idea. It’s like an overwhelming exhaustion and staleness that just come over me. It’s something I no longer want to do. I still want to be involved with helping humanity and their adolescents but simply church organizations and/or christian camps swayed from my radar. I’m sure they are enough to fill my dream but it’s not what I am seeking.
HERE IS THE DILEMMA
I fully believe God has the answers. I fully believe God has a plans for me. The problem is I don’t know what seeking looks like. If I can be real honest with you all, and this is one most deepest parts of me to share, I’ve had very few “God answered my prayer” moments. Maybe it could be that I haven’t recognized those moments in my life or my time hasn’t come to receive such answers but it’s become increasingly difficult to understand Matt. 7:7 in its fullness. I’ve had many moments where I asked, seeked, and knocked but to no avail. I am NOT dismissing God’s power to change that or even God’s involvement in my life, more so i’m acknowledge the possible lack of faith I have when it comes to getting my prayers answered or to see the direction I need to go. I don’t know what seeking looks like but that doesn’t mean I won’t stop seeking how to seek.
ASK. SEEK. KNOCK.
I want to live a continuous life of looking for God. In my bio for Let’s Be Frank, it says I like to meditate. I meditate to search for God in what I can’t normally sense. I can not deny the existence of God in my life because of how far God brought me along so I know the only option in this season is to keep seeking even if I NEVER get an answer because I have no place else to go. So I encourage all of you, Ask. Seek. Knock. However that looks like. Spending more time in the word, meditating more, cry out out loud in your room, or spend the day in silence. I am struggling to find answers but I know where the answers can be sought and that alone is enough for me to continue on.