Five years ago, I began to experience severe pain in my left ankle. Through the process of multiple doctors, exams, and MRIs; a tumor was found.
At the time, my family and I were terrified of what this meant for my health and future.
Yet, we continued to believe that no matter what, God was in control. Following a biopsy, the tumor was determined to be benign and ultimately I was healed. That period of my life proved to be what I thought (as an 11 year old) one of the most trying situations on my faith that I would have to experience.
Then the tumor came back.
Earlier this fall, I began to feel the pain welling up inside once again, and the swelling returned. Simple actions like walking to and from classes became extensively painful. I tried every past remedy I had used and found no relief. I returned to a series of doctors and specialists, only to receive quivering voices and befuddled looks. I am an obscure case. Weird.
All around me people began to pray.
Whether they heard that the tumor returned from a distant relative, or they witnessed my struggle with pain everyday, everyone began to lift my situation to Heaven. I, on the other hand, grew cold. I did not understand why I had to go through the same turmoil that I had been redeemed from five years before. I was getting so caught up in my circumstances that I allowed myself to worry rather than pray. And when I did pray, I prayed to be separated from the situation, rather than praying for God’s will and healing in my life. I was allowing doubt to take control and patience to grow thin when God was asking me to trust in Him as it states in Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (NIV)
I was desiring the easy way out; but God had better plans.
God created me to be a warrior.
Therefore, He called me to surrender. God knew that the maturity I would develop through the waiting and through the perseverance was much more important than taking the route that seemed to be less complicated. Now stepping back, I hope that God’s will and plans are what takes place in my life. And to all who are struggling with suffering and perseverance, I pray that you look to your Creator for strength and comfort in your time of need.