Man, y’all it has been a while but your friendly neighborhood hype-man is back with another blog post! As always, I want to first thank Let’s Be Frank for the WONDERFUL opportunity of storytelling and truth speaking. You all do an amazing job and I am so grateful for the outlet you provide others.
“God moves in mysterious ways”. I often heard that in my adolescence when I couldn’t really understand the circumstances I was going through and looking for a hope that would see me through it and normally that phrase would be brought up by my peers or elders.
Who knew it would come back and hit me at 22.
About a month ago, I got a chance to see Kanye live in Tampa with some of my closest friends. Originally, I missed the deadline to buy the ticket and all my friends had already set up their seating to fill up the rows of a certain section. By something miraculous, a friend of mine had to give away his ticket and I was the lucky number winner to receive that ticket. That was a start to a night of “self-awareness” and blessings. I was surrounded by thousands of Kanye fans waiting to see their inspiration, idol, innovator of rap, or whatever you wanna call him. As we got into the stadium, people chanted for kanye, or “Ye” as some would say.
(side note: I had JUST gotten into Kanye about a year ago because my best friends are major fans and I wanted to like what they like…and ultra light beam was so lit)
Excitement was building up in me and my heart was just racing cause this was the second concert I been to but not THIS BIG. As the tension started to rise, and I was growing restless, I received a phone call. It’s my mom. I haven’t called her in weeks. I sent her to voicemail previously during the week cause I was busy in class and now I’m in this crowded arena and she is trying to talk. I thought “nah I’ll call tomorrow” knowing full well I wouldn’t. As I went to go listen to the voicemail, that’s when IT happened… “I feel like the only time you are going to call me is when I am on my way to my deathbed” was said on the voicemail. What a sucker punch. My gut dropped and guilt flew over me like a very large airplane providing shade, only it wasn’t comfortable. I sat in my seat. And I waited for Ye so I can forget about that moment just for a brief 2h 30min. And I did.
Here comes the honest, exciting “life changing” part….ready? God used Kanye to change my relationship with my mom and my work ethic. Those are two seperate different things but I’ll explain with the latter and end with the former:
- God used Kanye to change my work ethic. During one of the songs Kanye screamed out “Yo internet, remember when y’all didn’t like this song? Now I’m playing it in front of thousands of people.” That shook me. Day in & day out, I’m sure Kanye gets nothings but backlash, negativity, bad criticism, lies, and other things spun towards him but he never stopped believing in himself, he kept going, and the song that the internet hated so much turned out to be played at many concerts and people were hyped up because of it. There is something about pushing yourself past expectations, denial, negativity and seeing the fruit of what you put in come to life that brought me to understand that I have to GRIND and keep going if I want to be a game changer. That means original players of the game will come against me, those that are on my team will drop or tell me to go back, there will be times I will feel defeat, but I need to keep going because someone will be given the chance to be great because I was given that chance to provide it for them.
(disclaimer: I know I can be great, I was made for it, God made me for it, and I want to be great for GOD’s kingdom so that those who are not like me can witness what his glory looks like THROUGH me and pursue their chance to be great too. I hope I clarified so I don’t sound arrogant.)
- God used Kanye to change my relationship with my mom. One of many things Kanye and his fans love is Kanye’s mother. She passed away and that was devastating for him and of course his fans. Kanye made a song about his mother talking to him from heaven. She was telling him how proud she was and how she talks to God every day about how proud she was of him. (“Only One” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WibQR0tQ0P8). That touched my soul because I had to ask myself If my mom were to pass would she joyfully talk to God about her son or with much sorrow state that she wish he called more? That broke me. I think that moment I fully understood that I could be great but if there is no one to be great with then it just seems empty. I wanted to make myself aware of those around me that are constantly telling me that “you are truly one of a kind AD” and “you’re a game changer”. Those are the ones I want to make sure I support, not because words of affirmation are a top love language for me, but because they see something in me that I can’t see in myself. They are the ones pushing for me to be great and I want to make them proud they did.
So I say all this because as I left that night, I cried to God for forgiveness, to help me continue pushing and seeking him so that his glory can spring up out of me. I made a reminder on my phone to call my mom every Monday and Thursday so she knows her son is OK and he wants to make her proud. So, if you are reading this then I want you to take 2 things away: 1. Listen to those that have been around for so long telling you the things they see in you, its not words they are just saying but something they are pushing for you to become and 2. You were meant to do something that could pave the way for someone to grow, to impact a life, to have and act in that purpose, to “change the game.” It’ll be hard, so stinking hard, but the work in which you put in for the fruit will be oh so delicious.