Not gonna lie, sometimes life can be hard. Sometimes, life can seem completely unfair. Sometimes, the person you loved the most will leave. Sometimes, a close relative or friend passes away. Sometimes, it seems like the pain is never going to go away. Sometimes, it all doesn’t make any sense. Sometimes, you just want to give up. Sometimes, you want to give into the pain of hurt and loss and not try to overcome it and live life in a dark world where hope is not near.
Notice I used the word ‘sometimes’? Life isn’t all bad. In fact, I believe there is always more good than bad, but sometimes it can feel quite the opposite.
Have you ever been to the place where you feel like there’s no light at the end of tunnel? Where it feels like all you’ll ever feel is pain from being hurt or experiencing loss? You ever lie in bed at night with tears in your eyes wondering why? Wish you could just go back to the way things were and stay there?
I want you to know something — that feeling of hopelessness, it will not last forever. Though the pain may seem to last for a lifetime and you don’t know how you’ll be able to continue life without them, there’s still hope to find happiness again. Even though you want to give up, throw your hands in the air, and say there’s no more joy in life, there’s still hope.
“…weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.” Psalm 30:5 NLT
I know what it feels like to experience loss.
To not know which way is up.
To feel hopelessly lost and wonder where God is.
To not know if you’ll be able to leave this trial.
To constantly wonder why God allowed this happen.
I know. It sucks, honestly. (Or should we say, “Frankly”)
I’ve experienced heart breaks ranging from a person you love breaking up with you to a parent dying suddenly. All loss and heartbreak sucks. But you can heal from it. There’s no therapist, medicine, yoga class or some kind of substance that will truly make you feel whole or feel true happiness and joy again. The only thing that can do that — correction: the only person who can do that for you is God.
Back in May of 2007, my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. #cancersucks
In August of the same year, he passed away suddenly. He was on chemotherapy and his body wasn’t responding to the treatment well and one day, it took him. What hurts the most with this, is that my dad and I ended on bad terms. His job had transferred from Orlando (where I grew up) to North Carolina where I knew nobody. So, I was mad at him. I would purposefully do things to anger him and we did not have a healthy relationship. And then one day, boom. He’s gone. There was no way I could apologize for all the wrong I did. I was so mad at God that He moved my family to NC then allows my dad to die. Talk about hurt. For years I beat myself up. I bottled up the pain and suppressed it. This is probably not the most healthy way to handle hurt and loss.
Near the end of 2013, I felt God wanted me to look through a memorial book that my mom had made of my dad’s life. As I looked at each picture, God began to reveal the emotion or memory that laid behind each photo. He basically showed me a behind the scenes look of each picture. And I broke. I hadn’t sobbed like that since the day he passed away.
I began to finally grieve. It was the best/worst feeling I’ve ever had.
I’m still healing to this day and it’ll be nine years this August that my dad passed away. It does get easier as time passes though. You’ll never really ever get over it. Some days it’ll hit me and I’ll feel sad, but in those moments, that’s why I have God, to provide strength and encouragement.
Even though I lost my father, I believe God has a plan for everything. Sometimes, He may feel a million miles away. But He still has a plan for your life. Whether you think He’s real or not, there’s a plan for you.
I honestly still have no idea why God allowed my dad to die, but I do know that God never left me. There was never a day that a roof wasn’t over my head, food in my stomach or clothes on my back. He constantly was taking care of my mom, sister and I. He was always faithful and still is today.
If you’ve experienced loss in the past or are going through it right now, don’t give up. Keep fighting. You are strong enough to endure. He has allowed you to be in it, because He knows you can make it through it. The Bible says that God does not just love us, He in fact, IS love. If you feel there’s that no one out there looking out for you, that no one who cares about you, just know that God is there and He loves you. You just need to reach out to Him and He’ll be right there. It may seem bleak sometimes, but God has a plan. Everything will come together.
All of the time.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 ESV