1. Not everyone will understand
A majority of us tend to instantly bond over similar interests; however, bringing up the loss of a loved one to someone who hasn’t experienced it for themselves can take an awkward sharp turn, “…Oh wow, I’m so sorry.” The End. (insert crying tear face emoji here); and to be frank, that’s okay! In Matthew 5:4 Jesus teaches us, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” The reality is that people can help ease the pain, but only the Holy Spirit can truly comfort the soul. Just because Ben & Jerry can’t comfort you the way you’d like, doesn’t mean they won’t help ease the pain from time to time.
2. It’s okay to cry
Thirteen years later and I still ugly cry when I hear someone’s testimony about losing a loved one. David says in Psalm 56:8, “Record my misery; list my tears on your scroll — are they not in your record?” If I could sum up the tears I’ve accumulated throughout my life, the jar would be overflowing with tears of grief and mourning at the loss of my step-father. God knows every tear you’ve shed because of this loss; but take heart, there will come a time when there will be no more death, or mourning, or crying or pain (Rev 21:4); we just have to stick it out a bit longer.
3. The pain won’t go away
In 2 Corinthians 12: 7-9 Paul states, “Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Unfortunately, death is a part of this fallen world and just like Paul’s thorn that kept him from selfishly boasting, God will use our own thorn of brokenness for His glory. So don’t avoid the pain or plead to God to take it away, but rather boast about it so His power is made perfect in our weakness.
4. I’m not alone
It’s unfortunate, but there are millions of people just like us mourning in the world. A lot of whom have experienced this same type of brokenness, and who will continue to do so until our Heavenly Father comes back. His word says that He is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18); sometimes that may mean He surrounds you by those who have experienced similar losses, so you won’t feel as alone as you think you may be — shoutout to @thevoiceorlando for being that place for me. Who knows? Maybe God has led YOU to read this post for that exact same reason: community.
5. You can’t avoid the journey
The reality is that you’re more than likely to experience the loss of someone you love again in your future. Psalm 23:4 says, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Physical death will continue to occur in this fallen world, it’s inevitable; but it is better to embrace the journey now than to be spiritually dead down the road. No matter the pain, you must keep moving forward and pursuing God with full force. Remember that you have been called, chosen, and redeemed! (insert kissy face heart emoji here)
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